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Hoping that this time will be the one, but the waiting...

 
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johnthrell
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Posted:     Post subject: Hoping that this time will be the one, but the waiting...

It's been a long time since I have been on a dating site, but after almost two years, I got to slowly move on. I was hoping my last one was the one, but that was the most painful, humiliating, and devastating experience and relationship in my whole life. I never had an easy time, during my teen years, I was a loner, an outcast, tormented and teased from K through 12, and I only had one off and on again relationship, and one quick one where I was pretty much the taxi and bank account. After school ended, I was pretty traumatized, it did not help that for ten years all I had were failures, one nighters, and many rejections, in addition to more added torment and teasing at my job. But back in the late '90's I met the lady who would one day be my wife, and we had a daughter, I love my daughter, and was there for her always. Circumstances led me to lose my job, be a stay at home dad, and watch as misunderstandings, jealousy, and problems with depression on both sides made her take control and become angrier by the year in ways i'm still afraid to talk about. By August 2011, when I stood up to her at last, she forcibly had me removed even though I did not lay a finger on her. It took me till January of this year to finally get through to her to get along and be on friendly relations, but by then she was seeing someone else, which was fine with me as I am going to file for Divorce soon. In the mean time, I started looking again, and i'm glad there is Wiccan personals sights unlike the last time I did this, but while i'm not ashamed of how I look, but I am a little fearful that I don't want to go through another ten years of waiting for miss right, though granted I know relationships don't grow up overnight, or that I don't get replies within 10 seconds of setting up a profile, and I learned so much from not only all that I experienced, but from my relationship with the goddess and the god that I would love to share, especially since I'm at the point in my life that I want someone to settle down with and be happy and in love with, and be in a equal, loving, deeply intimate, and lasting relationship. I just hope and pray to the god and goddess that I will find someone soon, and I won't have to go through anymore heartbreak and sadness anymore. :cry:

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thedragos




thedragos

Joined:
May 5, 2013
Posts: 48

PostPosted:     Post subject: Re: Hoping that this time will be the one, but the waiting..
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johnthrell wrote:
...but while i'm not ashamed of how I look, but I am a little fearful that I don't want to go through another ten years of waiting for miss right, though granted I know relationships don't grow up overnight, or that I don't get replies within 10 seconds of setting up a profile, and I learned so much from not only all that I experienced, but from my relationship with the goddess and the god that I would love to share, especially since I'm at the point in my life that I want someone to settle down with and be happy and in love with, and be in a equal, loving, deeply intimate, and lasting relationship. I just hope and pray to the god and goddess that I will find someone soon, and I won't have to go through anymore heartbreak and sadness anymore. Crying or Very sad



I kind of feel for you when you write about past rejections. I've been there done that enumerous times over for many of the same reasons and more. Believe it or not too nice was one and too innocent by another.

But life kept on going, and like you I thought once I found my family, but that wasn't ment to be either. For different reasons, but the ending was just the same.

So I eventually packed my bags shook off the dust and moved elsewhere, always rememberring the lessons of all the previous experiences. Note if you don't ... they'll come back to haunt you.

If you should by chance find what your looking for, so much the better. But if not, don't give up. Sad as it may seem the experience is it's own reward.

It reminds me of a bit of infamous prose I remember from childhood:

Quote:
Life is like a rose with many many thorns, but once past the thorns it is... beautiful.


As well as another:

Quote:
I am I, and you are you.

I wasn't put here to live up to your expectations, and you weren't put here to live up to mine.

I am I, and you are you.

But if "by chance" we should find each other.... life is beautiful.


Take care, be well and... Blessed be

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