Muffincup, 35

My parents raised me christian and I always thought from the time I was very small that I was going to hell because I didn't want to be there it didn't feel right, so when I got older I gave up looking for a faith and slowly what I was looking for found me.
I've come so far and into a great understanding, and I know its only the begining I can't wait to learn more and expand (so to say.) I've mostly been learning from books and a friend of mine that's amazing she helps me out like a guide. and I was hoping to make more friends on here and connect, its hard keeping a secret like this from my family who would fully look down on me for my "betrayal" I'd rather not have to tell my children why their grandparents wont see them.